Mr. Pants Goes to Catalina

For the fourth full day in the Dominican, we all had to get up before the peacocks (check out the one in the tree above) on Wednesday so we could go on our excursion to Catalina Island. Are there even Roosters on this island? Brings back the question as to whether or not that’s chicken they’ve been feeding Alex and Zachary all week.

Karen and Tyler stayed behind. Karen wasn’t up to making the trip and Tyler is a little too young for it, so it was just myself, AM, Jayme, Jason and the old married couple, Alex and Zachary.

We had to meet our bus at 0640. We were told when the trip was booked to show up in “American time, not Dominican Time.” Apparently 0640 in Dominican time is 0800 according to the guy the trip was booked with.

There is something to this “Dominican Time” thing. No one here is in a rush to do anything. Ever. Nice life if you can get it. No? There’s a good example below.

We were on time. The bus? Not so much. It showed up at 0700. Our 90 minute trip to La Romana, where you get the boat to go to Catalina, took nearly 3 hours. Isn’t Dominican time great?

Mr. Pants

Our tour guide on the bus for the day was Mr. Pantaleon. Somewhere along the way, we also picked up a videographer (never caught his name). So for the day, all of the members of the tour group were called “Familia Pantaleon” or, as I thought of it, The Family Pants.

We did learn some interesting things about La Republica Dominicana:

Abortion is very frowned upon. I don’t think he said it was illegal, but did say you can get into trouble for having one.
Mama Juana is the cause for 40% of the population to be under the age of 14. I personally think it’s the bowlegged grind dancing they do, but what do I know?
The country’s government is corrupt.
The people are very poor.
$150/month rent for a room in the Punta Cana area is considered an expensive rent.
Most people travel around on motorcycles.
Gas is $6.00 a gallon.
No one rides bicycles unless for sport.
The country is gearing up for primaries for the next presidential election. There were lots of billboards and signs everywhere for various candidates.
Tobacco, Rum (Ron) and Sugarcane are the main exports.
Tourism is their #1 moneymaker.
They spend years building houses/buildings/etc. Mr. Pants told us about his house that he’s been building for the last 6 years in Santo Domingo, and he needs another couple of years before it’s finished. The main reason for this is money. Interest rates for mortgages and loans in the DR are credit card like (11-20%).
The country is 90% Catholic and 100% alcoholic.

I’m sure we could have learned a lot more about the country, but he was relaying information to the group in 4 or 5 languages. Kind of cuts down on how much he can tell you.

Mr. Pants at the little shop

No dollar for you!

Along the way, we stopped at a little shop where we got out for a pee/stretch break. There was some nice shopping there, but we weren’t allowed to shop there because the bus company doesn’t get a kickback from them. And Mr. Pants says that just the government is corrupt? Hmmm….

So a quick pee and stretch and head back to the bus. What’s both a bit sad and creepy are all of these little kids that came out of the woodwork when the bus pulled up. They don’t say anything, but it’s pretty clear that they’re looking for handouts. Should you ever find yourself in here and in this situation, do not, and I do mean DO NOT give them anything. The 10 or so kids that turned up will multiply big time if you give one of them money.

A couple of bits about traveling in the DR. There really aren’t any highways like we have here in the US. To travel from Punta Cana to La Romana (the port where you get the boat to Catalina Island), you have to travel through all of the towns that are along the route. It doesn’t explain why it took nearly twice as long to get to La Romana though. There was really no traffic or traffic lights for that matter. Lots of speed bumps though.

Finally, we got to La Romana, which is about 80 miles southwest from the resort.

It’s a nice looking town with with some beautiful vistas along the river that passes through this port town.

Off the bus and we’re shuffled off to some very old, steep and unsafe looking stone stairs that lead down to the dock where our catamaran awaits us for our trip to Santa Catalina as Christopher Columbus called it.

This is basically a little party boat. They have a couple of skanky-hot Dominican girls plying everyone with beer and rum and then getting the men on the boat to dance with them with that bowlegged dancing I spoke of earlier. They had a Dominican guy dancing with the girls too.

The girls got Jason to dance with them. They got me too to spite my protests and demonstration of lack of dancing skills. I gave the paparazzi shooting photos a special picture to remember the event by. I think it also kept me off of the official video. Oh well. Tragic.

Our “host” for this boat ride was loaded from the minute we got on the boat. We never caught his name. Truth be told, I don’t think he ever said. He was rambling on and on (and very little of it in english). I’m sure he was talking about where the boat was going and maybe even giving some history about the island. Or maybe he was just inviting us to take advantage of his skanky-hot ladies.

Here are some more pics from this morning…