Views from the never ending bus ride…

On our way back to the resorts, we were scheduled to stop at a replica town. I never really understood why we were going to a fake town. Just take us to a real one and let us wander. As we got there, the skies opened up and it really started to pour rain. I wanted to go take pictures, but it was raining too hard, so we all stayed on the bus while those who wanted to get drenched spent about a half hour at the wannabe town. There were only a handful that went.

Was there something interesting going on there J?

The bus ride was taking an especially long time heading back to the resorts. Again, “Dominican time” at its best.

This country really is very, very poor. The stuff they want you to see, doesn’t look too bad, but you catch glimpses of such poverty that can be heartbreaking. Some of these shacks they live in have no plumbing or electricity, it’s terrible.

Here’s some more views from the bus on the way back from La Romana:

The final stop on our tour through La Republica Dominicana was the Columbus Shopping Center. This was the shopping area that we were promised this morning, a good 12 hours earlier. Remember, we left Isla Catalina at about 2:30 in the afternoon. It’s now after 6 and we still have almost another hour before getting back to the resort.

All I can say about the “shopping center” is that it was pure and unadulterated shit. The wares were crap and the prices were ridiculous. For example, there was a cigar store in this place. The price for a box of cigars (all Dominican brands, btw) were so ridiculous, I could buy the same box in JR Cigar on 46th & 5th in Manhattan for about half the price!

Needless to say, the bus company didn’t get any kickbacks from us shopping there.

The best part of the never ending ride back to the resort actually happened while in the tourist trap, but I’m saving it for another post. It really needs it’s own post. But I will say that it involves this woman:

 And it goes well beyond her highly questionable choice of swimwear. So onward we go.

The “shopping center” and I do use the term lightly, had security:

Yes, that IS a 12 gauge, pump-action shotgun he’s holding. The store was full of shit. What’s to protect?

We FINALLY got back to the resort after 8pm. We were due back at about 6pm. Our dinner reservations for tonight were for the Thai restaurant. Clearly, we didn’t make that. So we didn’t get to see how Dominicans do Thai. I’m sure there was Chorizo involved.

So, we rounded up Karen and Tyler and hit GABi Club for a late dinner.

Up next…Another day poolside and ridin’ in style…

The Meringue Maneuver and “The King of the Pop”

While we’re all waiting for the buffet lunch, our Host decided it was time for a Meringue dance contest. It wasn’t so much a contest as it was a lesson. The lessons were pretty funny as our host was having some trouble remembering since he was was already 3 sheets to the wind when we got on the Catamaran in La Romana.

This truly was a bad dance recital number. AM had fun though…

AM was griping that I was taking pictures of her next to the blonde chick in the picture to the left. My answer? Then don’t stand next to her!

It was THIS big! I swear!

After what took way too long to teach 4 Meringue steps, it was finally time for lunch.

While on the buffet line, we saw a sign that I can’t believe I didn’t get a picture of. It had the tour’s name on it with the quote underneath that read: “Hire is a Paradise.” Hire? Well, I guess it could be paradise for a nation that has a horrendous unemployment rate. Back to lunch. What did they serve? A surprisingly nice lunch. Lots of fruit, some salads, and some kind of spiced barbecued pork and barbecued lobster. After those disaster dogs, this was a pleasant surprise.

They even had entertainment for us while we dined. If you recall from my Monday post, we went to a really bad MJ tribute show that I didn’t take pictures of because I left the camera in the room. Well, he’s apparently on tour and made an appearance at our lunch. And here he is: “The King of the Pop!” as he was introduced to us.

He only did 1 song, Billie Jean. We were all given the opportunity to have our photo taken with him. After only 1 person wanted to have their photo taken with the fake “King of the Pop,” off he went to his next gig. I mean, seriously, why would you even want to? That’s like traveling to the DR to go mall shopping…oh…wait…moving right along…

There was a traditional “Dominican Dance” during lunch as well. The really do make the skanky-hots work it for their pay.

There was one final activity before going off for afternoon activities, a balloon popping contest. It was for couples only. AM & I and Jayme & Jason took part as we thought it was for a cash prize. We didn’t win. The winner got a bottle of rum.

The whole point of the game was to pop 3 balloons on your partner in the shortest amount of time. One, belly to belly, one with the man sitting in a chair and the woman jumping in his lap, and the third with the woman bent over the chair and the man popping in on her ass. Piece of cake, right? Well, not so much. The give you 2 big balloons for the first 2. The last? A balloon about the size of a softball to pop on her ass. It was funny as hell watching this go on and to have to do it myself. No pictures of this as all four of us participated in the contest.

With that out of the way, it was time for some more outside stuff. Jayme, AM & Alex went snorkeling. I couldn’t as they don’t make flippers in Saquatch size. Plus, I swim like sailors from the “Age of Sail” did. Jason & Zachary hung out on the beach while the ladies snorkeled. I went down there with my camera and even ventured out into the water to try to take some pictures of ocean life. This is as close as I got to seeing ocean life. One thing I meant to buy before coming here was this waterproof camera case. There was a guy down LBI last summer that had it was out in the ocean snapping pictures. If I had the bag, I would have gone out as far as AM & Jayme were and just stuck the camera in the water and started snapping photos. Ah well, maybe next time.

One of the peddlers

On the motorboat back to the catamaran

1430 rolled around and sadly, we had to leave Catalina and had to head back to the mainland. There wasn’t much partying going on on the way back to La Romana. The ride back was pretty subdued. There was music and the rum was still flowing, but it wasn’t the party atmosphere that we had on the way out. Once back on the big island, from the little island, we lugged ourselves back up those old, steep and hazardous stone stairs (drinking rum all day doesn’t help this) only to be accosted by peddlers with cigars and other trinkets while heading back to the bus. They were very aggressive. And really annoying. But the cigars were cheap and if I believed for one second that the Cohibas they had were real, I might have bought some.

Here’s some more pics…

Up next…Views from the never ending bus ride…

This house belongs to who?

So here are these lovely houses along the coast of La Republica Dominicana. Our Host starts declaring that these houses belong to many rich and famous people.

“This house belong to Antonio Banderas. Yah, yah. Antonio Banderas house!” ”This house belong to Ricky Martin. Yah, yah. Ricky Martin house!”

This went on for maybe 10 minutes. We apparently saw houses that belonged to:

• Antonio Banderas
• Ricky Martin
• Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt
• Alex Rodriguez
• Shakira
• Madonna
• Some rich Venezuelan politician (didn’t say who)

I know I was born, just not yesterday.

The only one of those names I possibly believe is Alex Rodriguez, as he is Dominican and has family in the country. Ricky Martin? Really? Where were the cabana boys? Angelina? I would have expected it to be next to an orphanage. With Madonna’s house on the other side of the same orphanage. Actually, I’m not sure that the DR is poor enough (or an exotic enough locale) for them to adopt kids from there. Random rich politician from Venezuela? I didn’t see a CITGO sign anywhere. Shakira? Man, her hips don’t lie, but I think our host is full of shit (or lots of rum at the very least)…

Here’s the pictures of the rich and famous houses…

Some of these houses are stunning though.

Catalina from the boat

Once we’re done looking at the “famous” houses, after some more booze and dancing, we finally arrive at Catalina Island. Now, to get to the island, you have to get off the Catamaran about 100 yards off shore and get into a small motorboat that brings you to shore. They gave us the option to stay on the Catamaran for a bit to go fishing, but none of us were interested, so we got on the boat to hit the beach.

On the beach

The first order of business was to get indoors, as it started raining right after we made landfall. It rained on and off all day. Never for more than 20 or 30 minutes at a time.

The second order of business, was to get something to eat. They were serving hot dogs. At least that’s what they said they were. They were pretty nasty. No Sabrett or Nathan’s here. Gods only know what they were made of. They were eaten out of necessity as none of us had a chance to get breakfast before getting to the bus.

After we staked out a table with all of our gear and ate our dubious dogs, it was time to have some fun.

First up was the banana boat ride. The line was long, but people managed to keep themselves entertained while we waited. I took a pass on the banana boat. I thought the “boat” looked a little questionable and I just wasn’t feeling it. Not to mention, you could only go 5 at a time on it and there were 6 of us.

They had a second inflatable ride, which I did with AM & Alex. It was fun, but the boat drivers get a little carried away with the speed they zip you around in the water. Let me tell you, my ass got some shiatsu massage from the ocean.

It was getting close to lunchtime and we were all still hungry, so after one more turn on the banana boat, we headed back into the picnic area to see what was going on there. AM got suckered into a dance show that can only be called…The Meringue Maneuver.

But first, more pics from the first part of our day on Isla Catalina…

The skanky-hot Dominican girls

Our videographer

I guess someone had fun on the island...

Mr. Pants Goes to Catalina

For the fourth full day in the Dominican, we all had to get up before the peacocks (check out the one in the tree above) on Wednesday so we could go on our excursion to Catalina Island. Are there even Roosters on this island? Brings back the question as to whether or not that’s chicken they’ve been feeding Alex and Zachary all week.

Karen and Tyler stayed behind. Karen wasn’t up to making the trip and Tyler is a little too young for it, so it was just myself, AM, Jayme, Jason and the old married couple, Alex and Zachary.

We had to meet our bus at 0640. We were told when the trip was booked to show up in “American time, not Dominican Time.” Apparently 0640 in Dominican time is 0800 according to the guy the trip was booked with.

There is something to this “Dominican Time” thing. No one here is in a rush to do anything. Ever. Nice life if you can get it. No? There’s a good example below.

We were on time. The bus? Not so much. It showed up at 0700. Our 90 minute trip to La Romana, where you get the boat to go to Catalina, took nearly 3 hours. Isn’t Dominican time great?

Mr. Pants

Our tour guide on the bus for the day was Mr. Pantaleon. Somewhere along the way, we also picked up a videographer (never caught his name). So for the day, all of the members of the tour group were called “Familia Pantaleon” or, as I thought of it, The Family Pants.

We did learn some interesting things about La Republica Dominicana:

• Abortion is very frowned upon. I don’t think he said it was illegal, but did say you can get into trouble for having one.
• Mama Juana is the cause for 40% of the population to be under the age of 14. I personally think it’s the bowlegged grind dancing they do, but what do I know?
• The country’s government is corrupt.
• The people are very poor.
• $150/month rent for a room in the Punta Cana area is considered an expensive rent.
• Most people travel around on motorcycles.
• Gas is $6.00 a gallon.
• No one rides bicycles unless for sport.
• The country is gearing up for primaries for the next presidential election. There were lots of billboards and signs everywhere for various candidates.
• Tobacco, Rum (Ron) and Sugarcane are the main exports.
• Tourism is their #1 moneymaker.
• They spend years building houses/buildings/etc. Mr. Pants told us about his house that he’s been building for the last 6 years in Santo Domingo, and he needs another couple of years before it’s finished. The main reason for this is money. Interest rates for mortgages and loans in the DR are credit card like (11-20%).
• The country is 90% Catholic and 100% alcoholic.

I’m sure we could have learned a lot more about the country, but he was relaying information to the group in 4 or 5 languages. Kind of cuts down on how much he can tell you.

Mr. Pants at the little shop

No dollar for you!

Along the way, we stopped at a little shop where we got out for a pee/stretch break. There was some nice shopping there, but we weren’t allowed to shop there because the bus company doesn’t get a kickback from them. And Mr. Pants says that just the government is corrupt? Hmmm….

So a quick pee and stretch and head back to the bus. What’s both a bit sad and creepy are all of these little kids that came out of the woodwork when the bus pulled up. They don’t say anything, but it’s pretty clear that they’re looking for handouts. Should you ever find yourself in here and in this situation, do not, and I do mean DO NOT give them anything. The 10 or so kids that turned up will multiply big time if you give one of them money.

A couple of bits about traveling in the DR. There really aren’t any highways like we have here in the US. To travel from Punta Cana to La Romana (the port where you get the boat to Catalina Island), you have to travel through all of the towns that are along the route. It doesn’t explain why it took nearly twice as long to get to La Romana though. There was really no traffic or traffic lights for that matter. Lots of speed bumps though.

Finally, we got to La Romana, which is about 80 miles southwest from the resort.

It’s a nice looking town with with some beautiful vistas along the river that passes through this port town.

Off the bus and we’re shuffled off to some very old, steep and unsafe looking stone stairs that lead down to the dock where our catamaran awaits us for our trip to Santa Catalina as Christopher Columbus called it.

This is basically a little party boat. They have a couple of skanky-hot Dominican girls plying everyone with beer and rum and then getting the men on the boat to dance with them with that bowlegged dancing I spoke of earlier. They had a Dominican guy dancing with the girls too.

The girls got Jason to dance with them. They got me too to spite my protests and demonstration of lack of dancing skills. I gave the paparazzi shooting photos a special picture to remember the event by. I think it also kept me off of the official video. Oh well. Tragic.

Our “host” for this boat ride was loaded from the minute we got on the boat. We never caught his name. Truth be told, I don’t think he ever said. He was rambling on and on (and very little of it in english). I’m sure he was talking about where the boat was going and maybe even giving some history about the island. Or maybe he was just inviting us to take advantage of his skanky-hot ladies.

Here are some more pics from this morning…

After some drinking, dancing and enjoying the view, the boat slowed down by these really beautiful houses. Our Host got back on the mic.

Up next…This house belongs to who?

I went to the Dominican Republic to go to the mall…

The third full day of our Dominican adventure, begins much like the previous 2, Alex wakes up with the chickens (well, peacocks, I haven’t seen a chicken here save for food. At least I hope its chicken they’re feeding us).

So let’s just put it out there right now: Peacocks are some noisy little bastards. If you thought cocks are loud, you should hear a peacock. And gods help you if you get a gaggle of them together. That cacophony is really something with them going back and forth at each other. I like to think they’re playing “Marco Polo.” At least that’s what it sounds like to me. But, it could be the rum talking…

Got my down dog on for a bit, donned the Speedo™ and off with the gang to GABi’s for breakfast.

Post-super fattening omelete (amongst other things), it was time to hang out in a cabana, catch some rays and play in the pool. After a few hours lounging by the pool, Jason and I decide to go check out the mall that’s right outside the resort. Well, it might actually be on the resort grounds and owned by the resort. The architecture of the mall is very much in the style of the resort and there’s a SolMeliã Club store in the mall. The SolMeliã Corporation is the owner of the resort.

Now why the hell would I go to a mall? Aside from checking out some hot Dominican chicks? Well, the trip there was for the geek in me. I was hoping that there was an electronics store inside that I could pick up a cheap wireless router so I could make blogging, surfing the web, etc. easier for all of us.

No such luck. Lots of clothing stores, tourist crap, a cigar/liquor store, a Hard Rock Cafe and something that I thought didn’t exist anymore:

After a quick Internet search, I see that they’re still around. Globally, in fact. 3 in La Republica Dominicana alone. Who knew? I figured after Al Goldstein puked it up on Midnight Blue and gave them a big FU for their shitty food (he really was out of his frakkin’ mind), I just assumed they all went out of business…

I remember watching on Manhattan Cable’s (later Time Warner Cable’s) Public Access, Channel J (then channel 35 later on)…Midnight Blue, The Robin Byrd Show. You know what’s scary about Robin? She’s still on the air. I thought she looked like a post-op tranny over 20 years ago, I shudder to think about what she looks like now. The years weren’t kind to Ms. Byrd back then…but I’m swerving a bit here…The upshot is, who knew Tony Roma’s still existed. I haven’t seen one of those in probably 20 years.

I actually got into trouble with a rent-a-cop at the mall for taking that picture. Apparently, it’s against the law to take pictures of the stores in the mall. People, water and architecture? No problem. Take a picture of a store, you’d think you’d just taken a picture of Don Barzini at Connie’s wedding. Where’s Luca Brasi when you need some muscle for protection? Well, technically, I did have a Marine escort. So I guess that had to do.

Actually, he was nice enough about it. I said sorry and we moved on. Suffice it to say, the picture wasn’t confiscated. Such an odd law (rule?) though. Here’s some shots of the mall:

We were 0-for hot Dominicans and I was SOL on a router. But the mall looked nice. So we headed back to the pool. One the way, we came across this:

There were several weddings going on here at the resort. Pretty much every day.

Boozin' in the pool

When we got back to the pool, this is what we find our wives doing. It was a major theme over our week in Punta Cana.

Dinner was at El Guarapo Dominican Restaurant. I can only assume that the cuisine was traditional Dominican. It was very good. I had this really tasty pork dish. And finally, all of the chorizo they’ve been feeding us as appetizers all week actually fits in with the food we’re eating for dinner.

There was a dollhouse in the restaurant. Not sure why. Looked like a plantation house.

I’ll post some shots of it below.

After dinner, was actually an early night. No late night partying here. Just a dip in the jacuzzi and off to bed because on Wednesday, we’re going on our 1 excursion off the resort for the week.

Here’s some more Tuesday pictures…

Up next…The family pants…

GABi Club Doesn’t Judge Me…

Waiting on the golf cart

As you can tell from my previous post, the beach in Punta Cana “roxored my boxors.” Technically, I was wearing a Speedo™, but anyways…

After a hard day of laying on a beautiful beach and at poolside (it’s a tough life, but I’ll make the sacrifice for you all), it was time to venture to our next themed restaurant for dinner, La Gondola. For those keeping score, we’re 2-for-2 at having good meals in the theme restaurants on the resort. Even if the meal wasn’t the most memorable.

Now for those of you who read my Disney blog, you may remember my encounter at the California Grill. Well, lightning has struck twice. I was denied entry into La Gondola (or as it’s known to us: La Bullshit Restaurant (it’s a rough translation from Italian, trust me)) because of my attire, which was a beautiful Adidas shorts and tank set that likely cost more than the meal they would serve me. It’s not like I showed up to dinner in a wifebeater.

My parting words to the hostess as I went back to the my room to change: “Maybe I should just go eat at GABi’s. They don’t give a shit what I look like.”

But back to room I went (Jason tagged along too) to “go put the dog on” for a fake Italian restaurant. What shit.

After a quick change and short trip back to the restaurant, I sat at the table expecting to consume what will be the best Italian meal I’ve ever eaten considering they have a dress code to get in.

Well…that didn’t happen. Now, it wasn’t as bad as Tony’s Town Square in Disney, but it sucked pretty damn hard. The fact that I had to actually get dressed up for this just made it worse. And what pissed me off even more, is at Tony’s, I actually DID wear a wifebeater to dinner, and not a peep from the staff. Here’s the proof. That was taken in the Magic Kingdom just before heading to Tony’s for dinner.

I wasn’t the only one unhappy with the meal. The general consensus was that the meal sucked. If I ever go back to the Meliã Caribe Tropical, I’ll be sure to not visit La Bullshit again.

Let me give you an example of the fare we were served: Here’s a picture of what Karen had for dinner.

It’s supposed to be Beef Milanese. Looks like four tiny turds on some mashed potatoes to me. Definitely should have just gone to GABi’s for dinner.

There was one interesting thing going on at dinner. It was Zachary’s attempt at seducing/trying to get Alex’s attention.

Then Alex showed him how it’s done.

After we put the kids to bed (and I changed back into what I originally had put on for the evening), the four of us headed back out for some booze and a show. The show was a “Michael Jackson” show. It felt an awful lot like I was watching a dance recital. A really bad one. Too bad I left the camera in the room. We left after 3 or 4 tunes. The guy that was playing Michael, actually had a great moonwalk, but that was about as good as it got. He spent the rest of the time grabbing his gear and lip syncing badly.

So we found a cozy spot in a lounge and BSed for a bit before heading back to the room to sleep.

Here’s some more photos from Monday.

Up next…Let’s go to the Mall! Wait…what?

Meet the rest of the Punta Cana crew…

You all know know that I’m in Punta Cana, DR with my wife, Ann Maire and my daughter, Alex. No need to post pictures of them. This entire blog is littered with them.

But who are these other people I speak of that I’m on vacation with? So before I continue the blog, let’s meet them:

Jason

Jason is an ex-jarhead. All around good guy. Would probably have a stroke if he ever woke up and found himself in France.

There’s two things you should never ask a Marine for: directions and to shoot photos with a manual lens. This is a picture of AM, Alex & I from Sunday night that he shot with my K-x with the Vivitar 28mm manual lens mounted. Maybe he thought it could be like a Cézanne or Renoir painting, but in photo form. French Impressionist painters as influence in your photography? I thought you didn’t dig the French, J?

Focus, J. Focus.

Sorry J, you know you had it coming.

Jayme

Next up, is Jason’s lovely wife, Jayme. Some call her the “Coupon Queen.” While she does have an uncanny ability to sniff out a good deal, her ability to haggle is stuff of legend. It truly is a sight to behold.

Then there’s their oldest son, Zachary, who has a love/hate relationship with my daughter, Alex. Those two are like an old married couple at times with their bickering.

Zachary

And their youngest son, Tyler. He’s a little cutie who’s been teething something fierce. Nothing a little Brugal on the gums didn’t fix.

Karen & Tyler

And last, but certainly not least, there’s Jayme’s mom, Karen. She’s a lovely woman with a great sense of humor who may have been the happiest to be in Punta Cana out of all of us. She also kept an eye on the little ones so we can go out at night and party.

I don’t know what went on when we weren’t with them, but they all seemed to need a lot of sleep during the day.

I kid because I love and I hope you guys take it int he vein it was meant.

So now that you’ve met the rest of the cast, we now return you to the trip…

So I went to the Caribbean and all I found was this beach…

And what a beach it is. As much as I love the beach in LBI (that’s Long Beach Island, NJ), this is gorgeous. I thought LBI has white sand beaches. THIS is a white sand beach. And the sand is so fine. Almost like powdered sugar. And dense. It doesn’t blow around in the breeze. Kind of weird. The colors of the water are lovely too, with bands of blue and turquoise as far as the eye can see.

This area of beach is exclusive to Servicio Real guests. If you’re not one, you will be kicked out. Quickly. It also has it’s own mini GABi’s. No food there but you get your booze and towels there.

Don’t know what else to say about this beach. The pictures say it all…

If you’re wondering what I’m using to take these pictures with, I’m shooting with a Pentax K-x with a Vivitar 28mm manual wide angle lens. I brought a Sigma 28-80 auto focus lens with me to Punta Cana as well, but I liked the results I was getting with the 28mm better, so the 28-80 stayed in the room all week.

Up next…Revenge of the dress code….

A note about coffee…

Had another great breakfast at GABi Club. I’m really enjoying the omelet station. The chef hands you a small plate and signals to you to fill it with whatever you want from their omelet ingredients. I say signal, because Marlee Matlin speaks more and better english than he does.

The only issue I have with GABi’s is with their coffee. While everyone that orders coffee, get a nice brewed cup, what do the decaf drinkers get?

I mean, really? Nescafe? Why not just give me some mule dung in a cup? So what does this mean for Chris? No coffee. I’ll be hitting a Dunkin’ Donuts as soon as I get back to the states.

While Sunday was a pool day for us, Monday is for the beach…

Ground wandering and American Grill

So AM and I decided to take a stroll and check out the grounds a bit…

I wrote about the golf carts (or “Machines” as Zachary calls them) for us Servicio Real customers. The other way to get around the resort is by trams that look like trains. The kids love them. Here’s one from our stroll Sunday afternoon.

After a little more time at the pool, we took a ride around the resort on one of the “trains” and then it was back to the rooms for a shower and get ready for dinner. Dinner today is at the American Grill Restaurant. The food was good, not quite American, but very good. Wasn’t memorable as I don’t remember what I ate, but it was good, whatever it was.

After putting the kids to bed, the four of us headed out to one of the many lounges and had a few drinks and hung out (this will be a recurring evening theme).

Here’s a few night shots from Sunday…

Up next…

But first, a note about coffee

Poolside at GABi Club

I have to say, being a Servicio Real guest doesn’t suck. Butlers to draw a jacuzzi bath for you, room service pretty much any time you want it. There’s even a pillow menu for your sleeping pleasure. Feather, fiber fill, infant, scented (AM is partial to the lavender) and orthopedic pillows. They don’t look like any orthopedic pillow I’ve ever seen, but it’s cool that they have it for their customers.

GABi Club is a restaurant that is exclusive for the Royal Service guests. It is also where the pool is. If you don’t have the special band on your wrist, you’re removed from here by security and escorted back to the other side of the resort with the rest of the common folk.

They have a full menu, along with a buffet that runs for most of the 16 or 18 hours that they’re open every day. They also have  a snack stand and a poolside bar, so you don’t ever have to leave the pool to get a drink. There’s also a lounging area in the pool with little posts to put your drinks on (wouldn’t want to get any water in them).

Their selection of scotch is lacking, with Johnny Red being the best they have to offer. Don’t even think about asking for burbon. I don’t think they know what it is from the looks on their faces when I ask for it. I will say that none of the liquor is watered down.

Meanwhile, the rum here is outstanding. I’m not a big rum drinker, save for the occasional Mojito, but the spiced rum here really is excellent. I may have to have a bottle or 2 find their way into the luggage. Along with some cubans. We’ll see how this goes.

So, after a decent night’s sleep, we all had a nice lazy start to our Sunday with a little room service from GABi, got my down dog on for a bit and got ready for the pool.

It’s a beautiful pool and our rooms are probably less than 300 feet from GABi’s and the pool. That’s the entrance to GABi’s. As shot from the balcony in our room.

Here’s some shots from the pool…

After a few hours at the pool, AM and I decided to take a stroll around the grounds, for man cannot sustain on being sedentary alone. Unless there’s a large flatscreen and an Xbox 360 involved.

To be continued…

How to do French in Domenican…

I don’t think there’s a better way to be spending a couple of hours: Sitting in a cabana, smoking a Cohiba (a REAL one, made in Habana, Cuba, not that shit that General Cigar calls a Cohiba in the US) and a glass (well, plastic cup) of scotch while I reflect on the last couple of days.

Here’s my view at the moment.

Nice, no?

Just a side note, nothing and I do mean NOTHING beats smoking a real Cuban cigar. An original Partagas 150th Anniversary is about as close as you can get. And at a street price of about $100 a pop, it’s cheaper to smoke the Cubans. It’s just something about the soil and the sun in Cuba. Anyways…

None of you are here reading to have me witter on about smoking cigars and drinking scotch.

So where was I…Right. Got off the plane 5 hours later than we should have. Punta Cana is a relatively new municipality in the Dominican Republic. You can read more on about it here. It is a extremely beautiful. Their airport, though, is a hut.

Though it didn’t take long to get into the country. Pay your $10 entry fee, get your “Welcome to Punta Cana” token, walk 10 feet and get it taken from you and you’re in. They even have musicians at the airport to welcome you into the country.

The company that the trip was booked through was waiting for us with a bus to take us to the resort. Our destination?

Meliå Caribe Tropical.

Now if you’re planning on staying down here, there is 1 thing you MUST do. And that is make sure you’re a Royal Service (or Servicio Real) customer. You have your own private side of the resort, your own private restaurant (GABi Club), pool and beach access. Along with personal transport throughout the resort and surrounding area by golf cart. Plus unlimited food and drink, alcohol included. This bracelet is the key to the kingdom.

While the non-Royal Service customers are waiting in a massive stanchion snake line to get to a standard looking check in desk, we’re escorted into the VIP Lounge and brought to a desk where you’re personally attended to and offered something to drink and a comfy seat while they check you in. You also get your bracelet here. It has to stay on you for the entire time you’re staying at the resort and gets you preferential treatment wherever you go on the resort.

AM, Alex & I are staying in a Junior Suite. The room is stunning.

To spite Delta’s exhaustive efforts to get us to Punta Cana as late as humanly possible, we actually checked in just in time to make our 6:45 dinner reservations at their French restaurant, Ma Maison, ”My Home” for the French challenged (I’m looking at you J).

Now, the resort has many restaurants. Most of which have a theme. The resort makes reservations for you every day at one of them. You don’t get to choose, but if there is a type of food that you really object to, the will accomodate you with a reservation for a different restaurant.

Was the food good? Yes, much better than I expected. But French? Not so much. There wasn’t even Vichyssoise or Escargot on the menu. So, all in all, it was French in name alone.

The rest of the evening was very quiet. Back to the room, unpacked, put Alex to bed and soaked in the jacuzzi tub our butler drew up for us. Yes our butler. Did I mention the room came with one of them too?

The jacuzzi was amazing, but he went a little overboard on the soap. The bubbles were over our heads!

I’ll try to post daily, the room does have Internet access, but Im tethered to a 6ft. cable right where Alex sleeps. Had I known this, I would have brought down a wireless router. There is WiFi in GABi’s and the VIP Lounge, which is where I’m posting from now.

Here’s a few more pictures…

Up next…Poolside

FuelGate

Now that our party of 8 are finally cruising at an altitude of 37,000 or so feet, the missus and daughter are napping, I can reflect on this day’s events so far. To sum it up:

Delta owes us big time…

1:45pm. We got off the ground at 1:45pm for a 8:30am flight. I guess we should be thankful we got off the ground at all today. Although, if they think a $12 meal voucher is acceptable for a more than 5 hour delay, they have another think coming…

And this morning started so well. Not that a 3:30 alarm clock call is the best way to start your day, mind you. But we did manage to get ready and into a Dial 7 car by 5 and arrived at the Delta terminal at JFK by 5:20.

Check in was an absolute breeze. Very quick and painless.  Next up, TSA screening. You’ve heard all of the stories and watched the videos on youtube. You’ve even read about my wife’s follies 2 years ago with TSA. What adventures await us today?

None. Nada. Niente. No patdowns, No searches. No Chernobyl-esque radiation scans to walk through. Not even a reach-around to write home about.  Just very pleasant and smiling TSA agents shuffling us through the metal detector at the checkpoint, wishing us a good morning and a pleasant trip.

Not sure if I should have been pleased or disturbed by how easily the three of us passed though the TSA checkopint.

We picked up a little breakfast in the food court and met up with our friends (Jayme & Jason, their 2 kids and Jayme’s Mom, Karen) that we’re travelling to Punta Cana with. The flight actually started to board 45 minutes before the scheduled departure time and things were looking good.

I should have known the good travel karma couldn’t last.

You always expect a small delay with air travel. It happens. People can’t get their shit together to sit in their seats, the pilot needs to finish his cocktail before going into the cockpit, whatever.

But this could be a first. The fueling crew couldn’t figure out how much fuel they loaded into the 757 we’re flying on!

Really? Really.

Last I checked, that’s what a fuel gauge was for.

So begins the 5+ hour delay that can only be called FuelGate.

The problem here was that the gauge on the plane read a higher level of fuel than what the fueling guys said they pumped into the plane. They had to manually check the fuel levels and verify everything.

So how many tarmac crewmen does it take to figure this out? Apparently, quite a few. After 2 and a half hours sitting at the gate, they finally had us deplane and go back to the gate waiting area. And as an apology for the inconvenience, they gave us all $12 worth of food vouchers.

Wow. Considering that a bottle of water costs $4.89, what can you really buy with it?

Well, actually, it paid for a quick lunch at Chili’s. A very quick lunch. It took us more than an hour to get our meal vouchers because the self service scanners/printers weren’t working and the Delta employees at the gate desk were less than helpful. Ultimately, the ladies at the gate desk printed up the vouchers for us.

We barely got food in us when the call came to get back to the gate.

Once we FINALLY got off the ground (they still had issues that took a bit to sort out), we got down there in about three and a half hours. They really pushed the plane to make up for lost time.

Here’s a few pictures from right off the plane…

Part 2 of day 1 coming soon….

WordPress for BlackBerry…nice little app…

As most of my friends know, I’m a huge fan of BlackBerry smartphones. I’ve always liked them and once I bought one for myself…I was hopelessly hooked. They’re called “Crackberrys” for good reason.

One of my new pleasures, is blogging, as seen by my little Disney blog.

Now, WordPress, the service I use for my blog has introduced a BlackBerry application so I can blog straight from my BB.

This can’t be a good thing. Can it? The app is still beta, but works pretty well. Still needs a couple of tweaks for us Storm users, but a very nice little app.

If you want to check it out, head on over here from your BB’s browser to grab it.

Now I can really blog on the go.

May the gods help us all…

I’m a Dad again and I didn’t even know it….

Somehow I missed the signs…How could I not have seen it coming? The strange behavior, the aggressive behavior. How did I miss it?

Now I’ll likely have to rearrange 2 homes to accommodate the new arrivals…

Wait…did you think my wife was pregnant? My Argentinean mistress? Oh wait, that’s the Governor of SC…Nope…turns out that my 2 Firemouth Chiclids got busy and had a brood of little Firemouths. Now I’m scrambling to see what I need to do for the little guys.

New additions...

Quite the surprise when I looked in the tank this morning and saw all of these little things swimming around in the tank. Thought it was debris as I had just used my magnetic glass cleaner on 3 of the 4 sides of the tank. I always knew I had a male and female, but I never expected them to mate. It’s actually pretty cool. Many of them won’t survive, but i hope to hang on to a few of them.

Daddy protecting the brood...

With Dad protecting the brood, how’s Mom doing? Mom’s in the corner on the opposite side of the tank staying FAR away from Dad, who is very aggressive with his defense of the spawn area.

Time for a little research on how to deal with this new development…My biggest concern is the Oscar in the tank. I think I’m going to have to remove him so he doesn’t think the fry are an appetizer…

Heading home, smelly Europeans and other random thoughts on the trip… (Day 6)

Goodbye Disney...

There was a huge thunderstorm overnight that woke Alex up and freaked her out a bit. It rained for most of the overnight hours but stopped by the time we were ready to head over to the food court for breakfast before heading home.

How hot will it be today? Who cares! I’m getting on a plane and going home. Actually, the forecast was for isolated thunderstorms and 90 degrees. Of course, it gets cooler when I’m heading home.

We came to Florida with these…

…and, in a matter of 6 days, came home with these…

Amazing what you can accumulate in such a short period of time.

Man, those extra baggage fees are gonna be a bitch.

Attached to our door this morning, was our itemized charges to the room and our boarding passes for our flight home. There was just 1 tiny problem, there were only 2 boarding passes. One for my wife and one for my daughter. I was convinced that I’d been put on a no-fly list by Homeland Security in the last 6 days. Figured they discovered someone with my name that once threatened to eat a pulled pork sandwich on the steps of a mosque during Ramadan or some kind of crap like that.

HSA has no rhyme or reason as to how people get on these lists and if your name gets on it, EVERYONE who shares your name is banned from flying. And it’s nigh impossible to get your name off of the list. Look at the trouble Senator Ted Kennedy had. It took repeated personal calls from him to Tom Ridge (then head of HSA) to get this cleared up. What chance do mere peons like us have?

I’ll probably get put on one now for bitching about it…

Since we had to bring our bags down to the hotel airline check-in anyways…we’ll find out what the issue is with my boarding pass. Disney brings the bags to the airport and gets them on your flight for you (that’s what the above luggage carts are) so you don’t have to lug them yourself. Now if they only could deliver them back to the house so I don’t have to deal with baggage claim…

A very nice guy, who grew up in Bushwick, Brooklyn, helped us out. Fortunately, it was just a printing error and not me banned from air travel. I was convinced I’d be taking Amtrak home from Disney.

So with our bags checked, and boarding passes for the 3 of us, it was time for some breakfast.

I have to say, the Disney meal plan was a beautiful thing. We took the Deluxe plan which affords you 3 meals a day. In each of those 3 meals, you get an appetizer, entree, a non-alcoholic drink & dessert. Plus, you get 2 snacks every day. It’s a lot of food. Snacks can be any number of things including bottled water.

The only problem with food at Disney is, if you’re trying to eat healthy, you’re S.O.L. Their idea of a healthy food choice is a 20 oz. full fat yogurt topped with whipped cream and chocolate syrup. The healthiest thing I could find for breakfast at the Pop Century food court was a sausage, egg & cheese burrito. My parents & sister met us for breakfast.

After breakfast, took a quick run through the room to make sure we got everything and then off to the “Magical Express” bus to go to the airport. Disney sends you to the airport 3 hours before your flight is due to take off.

Orlando International Airport is a beautiful airport and has a lovely salt water tank.

Life can be an adventure with my wife sometimes. Remember my post Blogging from 32,000 Feet? My loving wife, who took the time to go to the TSA website, print out and read the 3-1-1 On Air Travel, put 2 large sunscreen bottles in her carry on and got searched by TSA at JFK. Both bottles got confiscated and dumped by TSA. Fast forward to about 9:30am Tuesday morning. Here we are again going through TSA screening.

And guess who gets searched again?

Stowaways...

Yep, you guessed it, my wife. Why? She put a bottle of OJ in Alex’ carry on and a Powerade in her own carry on. So both bags got searched and the offending drinks confiscated and dumped.

Maybe AM will remember this when we go to Vegas for our 10th wedding anniversary in 2011.

All I could do was shake my head and laugh. Searched by TSA on both ends of the trip. What about me? I cruised through without trouble, and I’m carrying electronics galore and all of the chargers necessary to power them. Plus a pair of stowaways in my bag. Oh yeah, I have a screwdriver in my bag too!

Not a peep from TSA.

After finally passing muster with TSA, we board the shuttle train to the Delta terminal.

Is it me, or do all Florida airports have the same layout? I remember the West Palm Beach airport having the same train system to shuttle people between the terminals.

We had mostly good flight karma on this trip. Our flight down left on time and no screaming kids. Coming home, those same things were fine. But there was something odd in the air. This flight to JFK was filled with Europeans going on to Italy or France after stopping off in NYC. BO was in the air and that’s not a good thing when your stuck inside a pressurized tube streaking across the sky at 32,ooo feet. It really stunk on the plane. I had my air nozzle turned all the way up to try to keep the odors of the smelly Europeans at bay. It kind of worked, but once you get that kind of stank up your nose, you smell it all day. Alex & AM slept most of the flight. Or did the stank of unwashed European masses render them unconscious?

The rest of our trip home was uneventful. We landed on time and breezed through baggage claim. We had our bags in less than 15 minutes after disembarking from the plane. Fastest I’ve ever gotten out of an airport with checked baggage. A short cab ride home and our Disney odyssey came to an end.

While there was plenty of bitching about the heat and pace of our trip, we all had a great time. And as long as you remember the “Bare Necessities”, you’ll be ok…

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this blog about our trip to Walt Disney World. I had an absolute blast writing it. Will I continue to blog? Probably. So be sure to come back and see what’s on my mind.

Mind you…it’s likely to be much less kid-friendly.

Until next time…

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any hotter and Tripping the Holywood Fantasmic (Day 5)

Heat's finally taken its toll.

The previous 4 days have been rough: 95, 96, 97 & 97 degrees with heat indexes around 100-105. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any hotter, mother nature throws you a high hard one: 99 degrees with a heat index of 112+!

Great googamooga. That’s frikkin’ HOT. Hotter than spunk on a stripper hot. Hotter than…well never mind. You get the idea.

But we were determined to get in as much as possible on this insanely hot day. Our destination is Disney’s Hollywood Studios (formerly MGM Studios, formerly formerly Hollywood Studios, originally MGM Studios). Will they call it MGM’s Hollywood Studios next? Maybe they should call it Disney Studios and be done with it.

Alex’ final character breakfast on our last full day in Disney was at Chef Mickey’s located in the Contemporary Resort, the same resort that frowned upon my attire not 2 days earlier. Thankfully, they didn’t care what I looked like at Chef Mickey’s. At the breakfast will be: Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Donald & Pluto.

While traveling to the Contemporary, we learned about one of the advantages of spending $280/night to stay at a resort like the Contemporary. Being that there’s no direct route from resort to resort, today, we decided to take a bus from Pop Century to Hollywood Studios and change there for a bus to the Contemporary.

While walking around the bus depot looking for the Contemporary bus slip, I asked one of the transportation coordinators where the slip was. He told me the slip number and off we went. After waiting not even 5 minutes for the bus, the same guy walks over to the slip where there are now about a dozen people waiting for the bus, including the 6 of us. He proceeds to tell us that he’s getting us a bus immediately and proceeds to walk over to this bus to bring us to the Contemporary:

So instead of getting the usual bus not unlike the local buses the NYC MTA used for years, we get a brand new coach bus that is used to transport people from the hotels and parks to the Disney Cruise Line. Sure beats the bus every 20 or so minutes you get waiting at Pop Century.

Nothing like ridin’ in style…

The Chef Mickey’s breakfast is a buffet, a very good buffet, but not quite as good as the one at the Crystal Palace. It’s not a bad one by any stretch, Crystal Palace is just better. Though CM did have really good Challah french toast.

She had a great time seeing the characters. Alex kept calling Pluto, “Goofy” but that’s OK for a kid who doesn’t really watch Disney programming.

The big kids got in on the action too…

With full bellies and 5 more autographs in Alex’ book, we set off for Hollywood Studios.

Disney’s Hollywood Studios is probably the smallest of the 4 theme parks. We started out with my parents grabbing some pine in the shade and the 3 of us took Alex on the The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. She LOVED it. Here’s some pics from a video my sister shot of Alex on the ride…

Had to go with larger pictures so you can really see the look on her face. I love the look of terror in the last one.

Here’s a video clip that my sister posted on Facebook. Check it out here.

She was laughing after the ride and wanted to go again. Too bad the line went from 20 to 50 minutes from the time we walked up to the attraction to the time we got off. We had other rides to go on.

My daughter loves crazy rides. We wanted to take her on the Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith, but she didn’t meet the height requirement. That didn’t stop AM, Rachel & I from riding it though.

While we waited on to ride the Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster, my parents took Alex to see the Beauty & The Beast play and The Great Movie Ride.

The wait was rough in the heat, but the ride was great. It’s an indoor roller coaster that launches you from 0 to 60 in about 2 seconds flat. It’s pitch black in the ride save for the bits that get illuminated to make you think you’re going to hit them.

We caught up to my parents and Alex over by the Great Movie Ride and proceeded to Muppet*Vision 3D. This is one of my favorite things to do at Hollywood Studios. I was a huge Muppet Show fan as a kid. For those who haven’t been, they’ve created a perfect replica of the theater that the show took place in. It’s a cute 3D movie that includes animatronics of a few Muppet characters in the theater itself. Alex liked it a lot, but wasn’t too keen on keeping the 3D glasses on.

After the Muppets, it was time to head over to the Hollywood and Vine restaurant for the dinner portion of our Fantasmic Dinner package. It was only about 4pm. Kind of early to be eating dinner if you ask me, but that’s when dinner reservations are made for this package. Kind of odd since the show isn’t until 9pm.

On our way there, we ran into a Pixar themed parade. Characters from Toy Story, Monsters, Inc. and A Bug’s Life. There were probably other Pixar movies represented too, but I’m not sure.

Alex was kind of non-plussed about the parade. She was a little over heated.

The Hollywood and Vine restaurant is made to look like a 30′s or 40′s restaurant. This meal, like this morning, is a buffet. No one wanted to eat though. We were all worn out from the heat. After cooling off for a bit and drinking lots of water, we all finally went and got our dinners. We all enjoyed it. Was it as good as Crystal Palace? Can’t really say until I have dinner at the CP. But both are very good.

Run! AT-AT!

The last ride the 6 of us went on is Star Tours. It’s a nice little Star Wars themed ride. Yes, 2 rides at Hollywood Studios to bring out the geek in me.

Alex really liked the ride and all of the droids (she said robots). I may have to start showing her the Star Wars movies. Probably only the original 3 though. The prequels were OK, but the origianls were better. I guess Alex is going to be a sci-fi geek like her dad.

Time to head to the Fantasmic Theater for the show! We got there a little before 8 to claim our ‘reserved seats.’

The show revolves around Mickey Mouse’s imagination and the composite villian (it’s sort of all of the Disney villains merged into 1) who’s trying to do Mickey in. I guess it was a cute show. Not sure how much Alex liked it as she was pretty fried by then.

Interestingly enough, this show is the only time that I can recall Mulan and Pochahantas making an appearance in any Disney park.

Show was about a half hour long, then back to the hotel to start packing to go home and get some sleep…

A few more pictures from day 5:

Up next…Goin’ home!

*Updated with video clip of Alex on Tower of Terror!*

Return to Magic Kingdom and a meal not fit for a dog… (Day 4)

Pluto's off to find a hydrant

Father’s Day greeted us with another scorching 97 degree day with 100+ on the heat index. I’m starting to think I shouldn’t be complaining about the muggy 70′s in NYC.

The Magic Kingdom was the park of choice today. We started out at the Crystal Palace for a character breakfast with Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Eeyore & Piglet.

I guess child labor laws prevented them from having a Christopher Robin there.

This breakfast had some of the best tasting buffet food I’ve ever eaten. The grits were amazing. Better than Cracker Barrel!

But let’s face it, we’re staying in the heart of grits country, if they can’t get it right here, there’s something seriously wrong.

All of the characters made their way around the room and Alex’s autograph book got signed and pictures were taken. Piglet actually came to the table twice as he was offended at the bacon sitting on the table the first time he came by.

We tried to tell him it was turkey bacon, but he wasn’t buying it.

After breakfast, it was time to hit a few rides. Haunted Mansion, It’s a Small World and Peter Pan’s Flight was as far as we got before Alex decided that all she wanted was the pool.

So away we went to get some pool time. The park is open until 3am again, so we’ll be able to get on some more rides before Alex conks out for the evening.

After some relaxing and cooling off in the pool, it was time to get dressed and head back to the Magic Kingdom for dinner at Tony’s Town Square restaurant.

*begin PSA*

DO NOT EAT AT TONY’S TOWN SQUARE

*end PSA*

This restaurant is located just inside the main entrance to the park. The servers are pleasant enough, but the food, in my ever-so-humble opinion, sucked. I had the misfortune of ordering the chicken parm. AM had the seafood diavolo. Don’t recall what anyone else ate. The chicken parm was 3rd rate, at best. My mother seemed to like what she ate, but everyone else wasn’t as happy.

If any Disney employees are reading this (especially ones in food service): don’t EVER and I do mean EVER serve jar sauce in an Italian restaurant. Especially to people of Italian descent.

If I had to pay cash for this meal, I would have refused to pay.

The restaurant is based off the one in the movie Lady & the Tramp. If Tramp ate what I ate, he wouldn’t go back there again either, even though he got the grub for free.

The best part of the meal was the “Ice cream bomb” I had for dessert. Can’t screw up ice cream, can you?

The worst bit? AM asked for meatballs for Alex to go along with her pasta. What we got, was a single meatball with no sauce on it. Granted their sauce sucks, but really. Without sauce, it looked like an unwashed scrotum.

Maybe Mickey forgot to pay off a loan shark and it wasn’t really a meatball?

Anyways, to get our minds off the foul meal, we hit some of the shops on Main Street, USA while we waited to grab some curb for the Parade of Lights at 9pm.

We ended up having to find a place to sit much earlier than planned. The sidewalk fills up VERY quickly. With our little patch of temporary real estate secured, we settled in and waited for the parade to start.

Alex isn’t the best at waiting for things to start.

The parade was cool. Very different from the last time I saw it in 1998. Then again, there’s been alot of new Disney IP’s that have come along and needed to be represented in the parade.

After the parade, it was time for rides. The Magic Carpets of Aladdin, Pirates of the Caribbean and the Mad Tea Party. By then, we’d all had it and went back to the hotel.

My parents took Alex and AM & I got some coffee and relaxed for the rest of the night.

Up next…Tripping the Hollywood Fantasmic…

Here’s some more pictures from Day 4:

Canadians should seat dinner guests at least as fast as they change governments… (Day 3, Part 2)

No Pool this afternoon. We all took naps.

For what it’s worth, 3 hours later in the day didn’t make any difference in how hot it was…

We all met up after naps and headed to Epcot for the evening. Canada was our destination country and Le Cellier Steakhouse was where we had dinner reservations.

This restaurant is a very busy place for dinner on a Saturday night. We had 6:55 reservations and were seated 45 minutes late. At least there was no dress code. Me in my Adidas shorts and sleeveless tee weren’t frowned upon. While we were waiting, they kept the kids (and adults) busy by playing a Canada trivia game, giving away Mickey stickers as prizes. Alex won a few.

Interesting (and fairly useless) facts about Canadian government: the Canadian Prime Minister can be replaced at any time. The first female PM served for only 2 months before being replaced. As bad as voter turnout is in general US elections, the turnout is worse in Canada, because no one ever knows what’s going on with all of the constant changes.

Doesn’t the Canadian government know that people have day jobs and don’t have time to keep up with a constantly changing government?

Bad enough they’ve been inflicted with Celine Dion and Bryan Adams. And then set them loose on the world. I’m still waiting for an official apology for the pain and suffering, inflicted on the world by those 2. The extreme camel toe from Celine Dion alone has to be a violation of some UN rule. What good is the UN if these atrocities can’t be stopped?

Someone should at least introduce her to the Cuchini.

But I digress….back to Saturday night in Epcot.

The food here was very good. So far, not a bad meal to be had in Disney. What was bad, was that we had to eat quickly so not to miss the IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth show at 9.

We got out of Le Cellier at 9 on the dot (we were practically eating dessert as we were walking out the door) and only missed the first minute or so of the show. The “Moose” I had for dessert was mocking me. I showed HIM!

The show was very nice. Lots of laser lights, fireworks, water displays and video montages of the peoples of earth on a spinning globe in the middle of the lagoon that all of the Epcot countries surround.

Epcot, unfortunately doesn’t stay open past 9, so once the show is over, you’re told to magically get your ass out of the park.

My sister met up with a couple of friends who work for Disney and the rest of us made our way back to the buses where we were greeted with a line that required more than an hour and 5 or 6 buses to get us on one back to the hotel.

Did I mention that Pop Century is one of, if not the biggest hotel on Disney property with 2,880 rooms across 10 buildings?

Once back at the hotel, AM, Alex & I got into our swimsuits and hit the pool for a few. My sister drew the short straw and got Alex for the night. AM returned and we relaxed in and around the pool. I enjoyed a good cigar and had some Jim Beam that I bought in the Resort gift shop.

Ended up being a very late evening, but AM & I had a great time being together and enjoying each other’s company.

Up next…Magic Kingdom redux and a meal not fit for a dog…

An Apology, Mask Envy and Everest, He Denied Us… (Day 3, Part 1)

I’d like to apologize for being behind on the blog. The Pop Century Resort is a very nice place with comfy beds, a great pool and a decent food court, but it doesn’t have wifi, so I’ve been forced to blog when I’m in the room (which isn’t much). I had read on a couple of sites that there was wifi here, but apparently not. So much for blogging poolside. The Internet speeds suck pretty hard too. It’s fine for general surfing. Uploading pictures can be (and usually is) painful. I ran a speed test and it’s some kind of low end DSL service. Some Internet is better than no Internet, I guess…

All this means is that the blog will get finished AFTER we return from Florida. And that sucks…Onward to Day 3 of our Disney odyssey.

Our third day in Disney was hotter than the day before. 97 degrees with a heat index of 100.

The day started out in Animal Kingdom for Donald’s Safari Breakfast at the Tusker House just inside the entrance to Africa.

Breakfast buffets are never a bad thing. Mickey, Donald, Goofy & Daisy were there to sign autograph books and take pictures with kids of all ages.

During breakfast, my mother was admiring the African masks and inquired about them. She was told there was a bazaar a short distance from the restaurant that sold them and she could shop there after 11:30. Satisfied with that answer and wished a “Magical Day.” Boy, does that starts to get old after you’ve heard it 30 or 40 times before leaving the hotel for the buses to the parks.

After breakfast, we went on the Kilimanjaro Safari. Very nice little safari. My parents were concerned about the warnings for the safari, considering their advanced age and health issues. I told them there’s a bigger chance of him having a heart attack waiting on the line in the 97 degree heat than sitting on the Safari. So they went.

After the safari,  my mother went into the bazaar she was told about to purchase masks. Within a minute she returned bacause she couldn’t purchase the display masks. I guess the “Animal Kingdom” branded ones were too gaudy…So, with my mother still stinging from her mask envy, we split up.

My parents took Alex to see “It’s tough to be a bug” at the faux “Tree of Life” in the middle of the park. While AM, Rachel & I headed off to ride the Everest roller coaster, located in Asia.

Speaking of Asia, where’s all of the Mulan related rides/exhibits in the park? It’s like the movie never existed. I guess she’s not marketable enough. Maybe there’s a ban on Chinese products? Nah. Basically EVERY little bullsh*t you can buy in Disney is “Made in China.”

So, after taking a normal speed walk through Africa to Asia, stopping to take a few photos, we spy Everest. It’s a beautiful man-made mountain. But there’s something wrong…there’s no screaming…it’s silent, deadly silent at the mountain. Supposedly, this ride is so wild and scary, you can hear people screaming half way across the park.

But, nothing. Not a holler, not a whimper. Silence on the mountain.

We’re greeted by a way too cheery cast member informing us that the ride is shut down due to an unspecified “technical difficulty” with no ETA for it reopening. Since we were only spending the first half of our day in Animal Kingdom, we were denied the experience of soiled shorts from riding Everest.

Maybe next time.

We continued to wander, and found the Dinosaur! ride. The line was short and we hopped on. Cute ride, nothing to really write home about. Decent little time killer with really big animatronic dinosaurs.

After that, we caught back up with my parents and Alex. She made a mask and then headed back to the hotel for pool time and naps. Late evening coming up at Epcot (well, not too late).

For the record, Alex liked the “It’s tough to be a bug” ride/movie.

Coming up…O’Canada…

I'll add more pictures later after I get to a REAL Internet connection. The connections are too gimped to post photos right now..

More pictures added!